Frostburg Center for Creative Writing

Michael's workshop at Frostburg will focus on crafting suspenseful scenes, building on his contribution to the book, Writers Workshop of Horror, just released from Woodland Press, out of the Appalachian Valley.

Stress Toy
By
Michael A. Arnzen

Hubby opens his birthday gift while Wifey lovingly looks on. He tears open the box. Tilts his head to one side. "What on Earth?"
"It's an executive toy."
"A what?"
"You know -- something to keep on your desk. You play with it when you're on the phone or during meetings."
The thing inside the box mewls. Hubby grins and pats the executive toy on the head. "Yes, but what is it, exactly? It's kind of ugly. Not sure I want it on my desk. Won't it make a mess?"
Wifey wraps an arm around Hubby's shoulders. "You'll make everyone jealous, dear! It's a stress reliever -- a squeeze toy. It's all the rage on Wall Street this year; it says so right on the box."
"A squeeze toy? You mean I just throttle it and it will relieve stress?"
The toy rolls its eyes up at the couple.
They tilt their heads together and smile down at the creature inside.
"Exactly," Wifey says, reaching down into the box and pulling the toy halfway out so the couple can better see its face. "Let me show you."
She squeezes. The executive toy whimpers before its cheeks puff out and its eyes bulge all googly from the squeezing. Its arms and legs swat and swim in the air. Wifey waits until the toy's head turns so purple she can see veins pattern and throb on its scalp.
"See?"
Hubby looks cautiously at Wifey, then back at the suffocating toy. He knew she was stressed-out but her capacity for violence still surprises him. "So you're feeling better now?"
"A little bit," she replies, smiling at him. Then she points with her free hand. "But pay attention to the toy, silly."
The toy's eyes are near popping. Its muscles are tensed and shuddering.
Wifey lets go and drops the toy back into the box.
And then the infant's shoulders sag in relief.

Biography:

Horror author Michael Arnzen holds four Bram Stoker Awards for his often
hilarious, always disturbing brand of strange fiction. Known particularly
for his work in the short-short format, Arnzen's books include the
collections 100 Jolts: Shockingly Short Stories and Proverbs for Monsters,
in addition to the novels Play Dead and Grave Markings. He is presently
working on a critical volume, called The Popular Uncanny, and a new poetry
collection, entitled Blood, Bath and Beyond. When he¹s not otherwise musing
on the macabre, Arnzen teaches genre fiction and the craft of novel writing
in the MFA program in Writing Popular Fiction at Seton Hill University.

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